When people act in ways that do not conform to the conceptions we hold of them, we feel disappointed or angry. We may try to flatter them so that they may once again be the way we want them to be; we may criticize them, attempt to control them, or try to make them feel guilty. When we do this, the relationship deteriorates further, and we feel sad.
The sources of suffering and confusion are our own partial projections and the selfish expectations that we attribute to others.
―Thubten Chodron
Great Middle Way 