True happiness for our loved ones and ourselves is not to be found in samsara (cyclic existence). No matter how correctly we may act —no matter how ‘good’ our karma— all karma is binding. It can be a golden chain, as is the one that binds the beings in higher realms, but it is still a chain.
The only alternative is to cultivate revulsion for cyclic existence. Revulsion is not aversion, which is an emotion directed at the most obviously unpleasant aspects of cyclic existence. Revulsion is the realization that both the pleasant and the unpleasant are causes of suffering, and the desire to be free of the cycle itself.
The realization of the three types of suffering (pain, change, and conditioned existence) as real suffering is necessary to develop experiential revulsion for cyclic existence. The experience is not enjoyable, but it is vastly preferable to the constant disappointment caused by illusion, which makes us fluctuate between hope and fear at every step.