True happiness for our loved ones and ourselves is not to be found in samsara (cyclic existence). No matter how correctly we may act —no matter how ‘good’ our karma— all karma is binding. It can be a golden chain, as is the one that binds the beings in higher realms, but it is still a chain.
The only alternative is to cultivate revulsion for cyclic existence. Revulsion is not aversion, which is an emotion directed at the most obviously unpleasant aspects of cyclic existence. Revulsion is the realization that both the pleasant and the unpleasant are causes of suffering, and the desire to be free of the cycle itself.
The realization of the three types of suffering (pain, change, and conditioned existence) as real suffering is necessary to develop experiential revulsion for cyclic existence. The experience is not enjoyable, but it is vastly preferable to the constant disappointment caused by illusion, which makes us fluctuate between hope and fear at every step.
Great Middle Way 
While I understand “revulsion” and have often felt it as dispassionate compassion (never a nihilistic view), I find it difficult to communicate this idea to my friends. They may think I am describing apathy or unwillingness to “feel”, but abiding in non-clinging to “good or bad” seems
natural to me. I will use right speech and say nothing most of the time. This post was helpful in formulating my ideas. Thank you. Cheryla
I know what you are saying (I think), but the world can be very beautiful and people can be lovely. Sometimes, looking out of a window from a bus or train I think, “It is *so* beautiful!” even though the scenery itself my actually look rather of ordinary. It is hard not to be drawn in … Ordinary people — complete strangers — can be incredibly kind and generous… Hard to imagine feeling revulsion toward this.
Loving the beautiful is one of the signs and symptoms of Natural Perfection. As Buddha Nature manifests, we feel more appreciation for the beauty of all persons, objects, and situations –even if they seem ‘ordinary’. Revulsion is strengthened by this appreciation, because we understand that all beauty is ephemeral in cyclic existence. Revulsion is not directed at individual phenomena, but rather at the separation of perceiver and perceived that is the root of cyclic existence.
Pingback: Sutra and Tantra compared | David Chapman at Wordpress
Reblogged this on Gr8fullsoul.